Things We Do for Love

A Vegan Goes Fishing

Love compels us to do things with family members we might not otherwise do. For example, our daughter Emily is a vegan, but she loves her dad enough to go fishing with him. She showed us Niagara Falls (Wow!) on our first visit to Buffalo, her adopted hometown. She knew of course that I would eventually want to fish the Niagara River. And on Thursday July 17, 2025 we did. Clouds, wind, and spotty rain may have kept some anglers ashore, but we had a wonderful day on the water.

Lower Niagara Walleyes

Guide David Scipione has devoted many hours to his craft. Within just an hour (!) on the Lower Niagara, he helped us catch our limit of beautiful walleyes (3 each). Captain Scipione motored upriver, then cut the engine and started drifting in 30′ of water with 3 oz pencil sinkers on 3-way rigs baited with lively nightcrawlers. Bouncing along atop the waves (“the walleye chop”), it took a while for us to discern the difference between bottom contact and a bite. David, however, could tell at a glance. We brought in fish on eight consecutive half-mile drifts! It was a magical time. Emily caught the prize of the day right off the bat: a 5.24 lb., 25″ beauty.

A Family Learns Disc Golf

Fishing was a terrific start to a very enjoyable weekend in Buffalo that also included a Euchre tournament, the second annual Orchard Park Jazz Fest in which Emily’s husband Michael performed as part of the Latin rhythms and spontaneous melodies of Gubaza, and a round of disc golf. Years ago, Michael introduced our family to disc golf, and we have come to enjoy it tremendously. Now every gathering of our extended family includes a round. It’s something everyone – young, old, even pets! – can do together, in every season, in the beauty of the great outdoors.

Trying New Things – For Love’s Sake

In our family, embracing the contributions of the “married-ins” has been essential to creating a strong, resilient family culture. Emily introduced us to Michael; Michael introduced us to disc golf. Now we can’t imagine a family gathering without it. How attentive is your family to the values and contributions of each member – including the married-ins? Henri Nouwen writes, “Faithfulness means that every decision we make in our lives together is guided by the deep awareness that we are called to be living signs of God’s faithful presence among us. And this requires an attentiveness to one another that goes far beyond any formal obligation.” (Here and Now, p. 129) Attentiveness beyond obligation compels us to take time with, listen deeply to, and share activities with one another. In these ways we express our love and nurture its growth. It also has the benefit of being deeply fulfilling.

Attentiveness Beyond Obligation

Have you considered how adopting new shared activities might thicken your family culture? Because it’s a good way to develop deeper relationships. Attentiveness beyond obligation is the soil in which such new experiences can be identified, take root, and grow. We’re not talking here about contrived shticks or forced fun, but inclusive experiences rising organically from a collaborative family culture in which everyone contributes, and everyone is valued.

If we can help your family explore new shared experiences to strengthen bonds and deepen relationships, message us today.

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MEET THE AUTHOR

Fred Oaks

Principal Consultant at Family Business Facilitators

Fred Oaks, Principal Consultant at Family Business Facilitators, is a seasoned professional facilitator specializing in multigenerational family businesses. He has been consulting since 2003 and spent 17 years as a program officer in a family foundation. His work as a senior pastor also informs his ability to maintain confidentiality and connect in meaningful ways. His approach fosters faithful stewardship and generative family dynamics, ensuring long-term success.

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Things We Do for Love

Family culture thickens and love grows through shared family activities.

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